Hello from Adoptive, Foster, Bio Mom

For the past two years, I’ve loved taking part in the Adoption Talk Link Up. This linky is a great place to find the fascinating stories of other people in the adoption triad. So check it out! 2017 will surely be another banner year for the group.

This month’s topic is INTRODUCE YOURSELF, so here’s a little bit of my backstory.


When I has a little girl playing “house,” my babies were always adopted. I really don’t remember why I always wanted to build my family through adoption. I didn’t even know back then what infertility meant. Maybe it was because the first movie I ever saw was “Annie,” or maybe it was because “Cabbage Patch Dolls” were adopted. What has stayed with me all these many years is knowing deep in my heart that there are kids out there who need families, and I want to help.

Fifteen years ago, my husband and I were in the process of adopting when I found out that I was pregnant. Thus, Sassy was born and became our first child. Several years later, we adopted our son Silent One from a foreign country when he was six years old.

If Silent One had been born in the United States, I’m pretty sure he would have stayed with his first family. His first family experienced severe trauma, but social services could have helped them get back on their feet. Instead, Silent One went into foster care, and it was not a good situation. I am so happy that Silent One is my son, but I wish that his first mother, first father, and first siblings didn’t have to have their family torn apart. I truly believe his first mother made the right decision when she made an adoption plan, but I know that she would have chosen differently if she had had other options.

I wish I had a magic wand to have made that situation better. But I don’t. What we do have is the ability to “pay it forward” and help other families stay together if at all possible. And if they can’t stay together, then we would be in a position to adopt the children and have the first parents become part of our extended family.

In other words, we’ve become a foster care family. We had two siblings live with us for 15 months – Joyful (10 year old girl) and Watchful (8 year old boy)- and you’ll see lots about them in the history of this blog. We’ve also provided short-term, respite care for three other children: Jumping Jack (5 year boy), Helper (13 year old boy) and Excited (7 year old boy). We thought for a little while that we might end up adopting Joyful, Watchful and Jumping Jack, but their all went back to their families. And that’s a good thing.

We hope to open our home again to long-term foster care soon. So stay tuned. The adventure is never over.

No Bohns About It

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