Foster kids “readiness” to return – does it matter?


A statement from a foster care meeting several weeks ago is haunting me. We were talking about what needs to happen in order for our foster children to move back with their dad. We had discussed the things that their dad needs to do to be ready. So I asked how would we know if the kids would be ready to return home. The answer? It doesn’t matter if the kids are ready; it only matters if dad is able to parent the children.

Ever since then, there’s been an argument raging inside my head.

On the one hand, children are not removed from their homes because of what they do, but rather because their parents are not able to parent them adequately (keep them safe, feed them, school them, etc.). So if a parent can parent the children, then why not reunite the kids? If a parent can handle a traumatized child, then send the child home.

On the other hand, if the children have been deeply traumatized by the parents and their emotional wounds haven’t healed, is it fair to send the children back? Is it fair to send a child with post traumatic stress disorder back into an environment where they are being triggered?

Help me, folks, ‘cuz I can’t wrap my head around this.

This post is part of the Adoption Talk Link Up. Check out other great blogs on adoption and foster care.

No Bohns About It