More for Parents (who survived childhood abuse)

Recently I wrote Should Survivors of Abuse Be Foster Parents or Adoptive Parents.  A special thanks to the many people who directly emailed me, sharing their experiences, hopes and fears about this topic.  You inspire me with your courage and dedication to ensuring healthier, happier, and safer childhoods for today’s youngest generation.  I am here, cheering you along your path of healing for yourself and your families.

Many of you expressed a fear over whether social workers would think you would make a good foster or adoptive parent.  The post Should Survivors of Abuse Be Foster Parents or Adoptive Parents covered some actions you might want to take to prepare yourself.  If you have triumphed over childhood abuse or neglect, you may be interested in another tool I uncovered in Penelope’s post at Foster2Forever The Attachment Style of Your Parents Determines Yours.

Penelope explains that the attachment parenting style we received as children is our default for how we will parent as adults.    She notes that while 60% of the general population is securely attached, only 15% of foster / adoptive parents are.  I find this statistic super hard to believe as I know so many wonderful adoptive / foster families.  (Yes, I am talking about you, my good friends!)

But I believe there’s value in looking in the mirror periodically and assessing what we can do better.  At the end of Penelope’s post, she writes about some ways to change our parenting styles to encourage the strongest possible attachments for our children.  Everyone, even those who had Leave It to Beaver perfect childhoods, can benefit from some self analysis.

So, check out Penelope’s post and let me know what you think.

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