We will have a foster kid or two soon. We need to prepare a bedroom, think about leave from work, and think about child care and schooling. I’m reading tons of parenting books. Considering buying a rocking chair. Buying special books to read. So, I’ve written before about how similar this is to “expecting” with a pregnancy.
But it’s a bit lonely. Here I am with mommy-hood on the brain, but no one is patting my tummy, giving me their seat on the bus, offering to carry heavy things for me. There’s no baby shower. No doctor visits.
It’s like an invisible pregnancy. I’m “due” soon, yet no one can see a bulging baby bump.
I wish family and friends realized that bringing a child into your family is a big deal, no matter if that child stays with you for a month or for life. I will still give my heart to any foster kid that walks through my front door. I will be their advocate in school, at the doctor’s office, and with the county. I will still tuck them in at night, make them breakfast, and cheer them on at basketball or cheerleading. I will put band aids on their owies, remind them to mind their manners, and be the shoulder they cry on when things don’t go their way.
So, yes, I am a mommy-to-be, even if my “pregnancy” is invisible.
Are you an “expectant” foster parent and feel lonely, too? Have you ever considered giving “expectant” foster parents that special love and attention that pregnant moms receive? Any suggestions for helping others realize that I want them to celebrate this with us?