We’re on the cusp of becoming licensed foster parents. As I sit here waiting for the social worker to call and say we can welcome children whose moms and dads need some time to fix whatever curveball life has thrown them, a strange sense of deja vu envelops me. Hey, we’ve been here before!
Well, not exactly. Fostering is new, but this waiting period shares an awful lot in common with pregnancy and waiting to adopt (we’ve done both).
1) Are We There Yet? At eight months pregnant, waddling with a bowling ball-like bulge where your stomach used to be, you pray for the first contraction to start and get this show started. At 7 months into the adoption journey, sorting through skyscraper tall stacks of pre-adoption paperwork, you want the paper to magically turn into the child whose photograph you fell in love with. One year after asking the county to consider us for foster care, we jump at every phone call, wondering if this will be the day that our family changes once again.
2) Question Everything. “Are we making the biggest mistakes of our lives? Our lives have been so good up to this point…” Thought it with our bio daughter, and she was not a mistake, but one of the biggest blessings of our life. Thought it with our adopted son, and he was not a mistake, but one of the biggest blessings of our life. Thought it with our foster kids-to-be, and… hopefully, the pattern will hold.
3) The Jinx. “Don’t tell anyone until you’re at least four months pregnant, just in case you miscarry.” “Don’t tell anyone until your first trip to meet your adopted-son-to-be, just in case the adoption falls through.” “Don’t tell anyone until you receive your foster care license, just in case there’s something wrong with your home study.” Does a blog count as telling? Well, I never could keep a secret. 🙂